How online dating affects communication

12 Aug

Sam Moorcroft, founder of Christian Cafe.com, likens online dating technology to roads. Roads allow you to get to someone's house to have an affair. Having studied the work of Marshall Mc Luhan (recall his aphorism, "The medium is the message") and that of other media ecologists, I wasn't so ready to concede this point.So I decided to do a little investigating myself with this question in mind: Does the online dating process—creating a profile, uploading pictures, searching for potential matches and/or being matched using an algorithm, and communicating via computer before meeting face-to-face— fundamentally change anything about how we relate to each other? Dating websites claim to serve one or both of two purposes.A 2009 Stanford study found that 22 percent of heterosexual American couples who met between 20 met on the Internet.In April 2011 alone, 25 million unique users around the world accessed an online dating site, according to one industry report. The dating site Christian Mingle saw three million new members in 2012.The adoption of technology has changed the way we connect and converse with others in our society and dating is no exception.

The problem with online dating is that you can’t see the person’s face when they’re telling you about themselves. I think it’s hard for guys to comprehend the world of online dating from a woman’s perspective. They then flippantly toss out all of those well thought out, carefully crafted messages from most of those poor schmucks, and then they log onto their Facebook accounts to complain to their girlfriends that there are no “good men” left in the world.Once considered a realm inhabited only by the socially awkward, online dating is now just another tool in the toolbox, no matter whether you’re looking for a hook-up or your soulmate.....To explore this topic, I pulled aside two individuals who I knew were hunting for a long-term relationship using online dating websites, and asked them about their experiences with the services.The two services used by these individuals were OKCupid and Match.com, two of the largest and most popular dating websites on the Internet.What I learned from carrying out an interview of a female and the interview of a male trying to dig into this intriguing subject was that using the Internet for dating is equally painful for men and for women, but for very different reasons.